Well it seems to be the blog theme I suppose due to the MLK and black history month. BUT I DID HAVE A DREAM maybe NOT on the scope of such a great leader of people who was kind to people who deserved no kindness, no forgiveness........ no I am afraid that I get young Malcom X's anger far far easier then I do MLK's vision........ so forgive me if my dream is not on his level (or don't forgive me I probably don't care).
I had a dream that one day I would NOT be judged on what I look like but on how I took care of myself. That being fat would not give people the right to be mean and look down on me. I ALWAYS acted as if you and everyone else accepted me as a good wonderful person because I thought I was even tho' I was fat too. I had a dream that I could have an operation that would improve my health........ it occured to me that more people would accept me and find me attractive and I thought it would be nice......... but it NEVER occured to me that people who knew me as a fat person and DIDN'T like me would suddenly think they could and should hit on me and look at me as tho' I would now suddenly SLEEP with them. That my bosses would SUDDENLY think that I could do a better job when because of the pain and limitations that I have I actually do a WORSE job if I do ANY job at all. I thought being fat just met that I had a harder time walking up stairs and that I was at a far greater risk of dibeties, heart attacks, sleep apena and all. I ALWAYS had a date and even found the best husband ever........ it never occured to me that my wieght prevented me from having a good time and having good friends........ but apperntly it did to many. BECAUSE NOW that I am thin...... and yes I am very thin suddenly I am asked things like "oh I know you are in so much pain and you almost died more then once and you have ALL sorts of health problems but it is worth it, right?" with the under tones of now you are one of us. AND IT IS LIKE if there was some major fucking operation that made a black person white (no Michel Jacksons weird morphing thing doesn't count)................. would you ask them if it was better because NOW they can go into stores and be treated like a person??? WOULDN'T you just want the STORES that treated them bad to change??? but no....... being FAT is all on you so it is OK to treat FAT people a certian way and ASSUME that they can't get a date or that they are no fun to be with and that it is WORTH IT to risk your life and all that you know so you can be treated right. No one tells a black person to be less black........ you don't put them on diets to make them less black......... that would be stupid......... well it is STUPID to assume that fat person hasn't tried a million things just to improve their quailty of life and they don't NEED you to tell them how to eat or whisper behind their back or ASSUME that they can't or don't have SEX and LOVE and JOY. AND MAYBE there are things FAR more important then a LONG life....... I know that isn't the AMERICAN dream........ because we all are suppose to want to be fit and live FOREVER and that is the "RIGHT" life. BUT I DO have a dream that one day people will be more concerned about WHO I am and how HAPPY my life is rather then what I wiegh and if I am gonna live forever. I dream that we treat ALL people no matter what they look like or what their disablities are as people who don't want to be made fun of or denied good service. I want us to stop trying to make people fit into little boxes of perfection.
