Friday, August 25, 2006

Its a carnival...... so they tell me

Well the whole idea is explained far better here carnival

So what I want you to know............

1) I was gonna do this about my cat but then I decided my cat knows me well enough and can't read so that was pointless and futile and while I DO do futile things I usually don't know they are futile at the time of actually doing them.
2)Ya I know my spelling s**ks to the horrifcation of most of my totally brilliant family I came up with dyslexic and even with great spell check I can't spell right which basically made me hate anything to do with good English. But unfortunately I also crave to communicate my ideas and myself so I do write.
3)I totally don't care what you believe in unless you are trying to make laws that I feel would stop me from being free. Things like stopping me from killing myself, my fetus or smoking pot seem wrong to me not that I am actively pursuing the doing of any of those things at the moment. I just like to know that even if I am the stupidest idiot on the planet I still have the right to my own body and can if I want to do those things.
4)I don't hate America or the human race or little kids. I am child free but that is just how it worked out had nothing to do with disliking children. I actually think us humans are pretty cool animals I would like to see us survive I have cominted most of my adult life to things that are about that actually. America.... I was so ready to leave you when I thought you were ok, but now that I see you as soul sick and sliding down in a pit of apathy and spoilness I find that I cannot leave you ....... some how I want to make it better...... but I am realistic to know that I may just be one wittiness to a great decline.
5)I am ......... not well....... I am not sick...... in pain every day most of the time. I thought I would get better for along long time. I fought tooth and nail to get better......... but now I know it isn't. Whatever is wrong isn't clear enough for the doctors to fix. I do not understand my diagnoses. I donno if I don't understand because they are not clear or because I have become to sick in the head to hear it. I don't even know which one I fear more.
6)I play a game on the computer called world of warcraft. I make many friends outside of my apt. It helps me to not feel alone. But sometimes it keeps me from doing the things I should.
7)I am so proud of my spouse for going back to school and keeping a 4.0 and a 160 LSAT, the law schools were all sending him letters! And now he is there in school with all those big books. But I am also scared....... one day he will see himself as I always have and know he is too good for me.
Ok that is all I got that is me in a flash. Nothing big nothing crazy sorta boring.

Friday, August 18, 2006

He HAS a job interview!!!!!!!!

We cleaned the living room and did a DAMN fine job of it. And then when we were done the phone rang and it was a JOB calling for my hunny!!!!!

Don't know nothing about it yet...... except that the salery will only be a lil bit less then mine was so we can mangage that....... nothing about bennies yet or ANYTHING. It isn't the city court like we had been hoping but ........ it is a JOB!!!!!! His first as a paralegel!!!!!! I am so so excited we have been on pins and needles waiting since June....... he has put in........... something like 15 resumes a week...... since June. Finally someone....... SOMEONE is gonna see how brillent my hunny is when he is in his element.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

mine new favorte place on the web

this guys is an roit! NOT WORK SAFE!!!!!!!!


I got it from a comment on:


Who everyone should be reading cuz she is awsome.

I love the web it is the best thing since we learned to make fire.

Friday, August 11, 2006

The blow job post

Mom and kid that are underage you can stop reading right here I am gonna talk about sex if you stay don't complain to me you were warned.

The other day I was reading Bag's blog and she had a wonderful post about her relationship and some how it got into the realm of blow jobs and a lady made a comment about what she thought a blow job was about "I find it offensive that he expects you to regularly engage in an activity that only results in pleasure for him. That's selfish, self-centered, and kind of degrading. " Now mind you there are some men that do make oral sex all about degradation and if THAT is done by consent fine ....... but I think MOST men see it as a sign of trust. Believe it or not putting a penis between someone's TEETH is a pretty trusting act. And while we all laugh and say that all men enjoy it....... trust me some men are pretty fearful about it..... after all they have all grown up by now with the stories of some woman out there biting off penises and throw them in the street to get run over by a car....... don't believe me? Ask around trust me the thought has gone through their head that the woman that is giving them the most pleasure could in an instant cause them the most horrible physical pain they can imagine. See it is not the man RECEIVING the blow job that is in control and if you as a woman don't feel that way then mayhap you need to rethink your own power. Now some women I know, have such issues with sex and power that they cannot get much pleasure from most sexual acts..... there are men out there with the same problems..... my heart goes out to you really it does. My life is better for the sexuality that has been a part of it every since I was old enough to grasp that I was wanted in that way. I feel no shame it the subtle play between men and women or women and women or men and men...... tho some I find more pleasurable then others. Love is a treasure....... it allows you to trust someone to do to you what you may not be so trusting with others...... it allows you the space to need and want we should not assign a neg. value to those wants without proof of unhealthy and evil. A blow job for the most part is a that goes both ways it is a gift of pleasure to the one receiving and a gift of trust to the person giving the blow job..... both gifts can be wonderful, sought after, and wanted.

There isn't much I like about censoring

But I am finding the commerials for the 9-11 movie hard to take. It is more then I just don't want to see it.... it makes me sick like puking sick. I don't know why. At the time it was stunning and horrifying but I had def. been around horrifying before........But it has grown in my mind perhaps because we are still at war and the wars in the middle east seem to grow worse each year that passes. Perhaps it is because I belive in my heart of hearts that it maybe the begining of the end and I am still so very scared of what the end will look like. It has certianly only made my intolarance to fantics of any type worse....... and deepened my distrust of christianty as I really view it as their war. Some of you may say how can you say it is the xtians war? well unlike us here in the USA SOME people don't forget and the pope started a war with the muslims a LONG long LONG time ago and they are still at war..... it never ended...... only settled down for a bit. And the roots of what happened lay there. Yes some ppl hate us for more recent crimes of which there are many but in truth they are not much worse then most countries do when they are the ones in power. But many ppl were fed the hate of the xtains for genration after genration for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Any who........ The commercial really bugs me....... somethings are still to raw. I certianly won't go see it. I don't need to. I remember it in vived detail. My spouse was at the airport ..... he called as I was getting up and rdy for work he said " I am ok" and I said "why wouldn't you be?' and then he told me and then he listened while I turned on the TV because I didn't belive him...... I never do about bad news .. I donno why...... maybe because most of the time he only has happy good things to tell me so to hear stuff that is truely awful is double shocking. I still had to work because animals need food and water and clean places no matter if a building is falling and ppl are dieing. Today we heard that the bombers were found before they did anything bad......... I am so happy that we did........ but also sad that we are still hated enough for them to want to. If anything we are hated even more now then we were. I wish all people that wanted to fight about their religion and or their believes about what is right for thier neighbor would just get beamed up to the moon and those of us that just want to enjoy what is here and what has been created could do just that.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Plan B

Well I am told that Plan B is soon to be over the counter for people over the age of 18 in CA. For those of you that don't know what I am talking about Plan B is basically this drug you take 24-48 hrs after having sex where a "whoopsie" happened and you want to make sure you didn't get preg. My limited understanding is that it keeps a feritlized egg from implanting on the uterus lining. BUT if you want the details well go do your own google search. Now....... most of you might think that I would be jumping up and down for joy over this. After all I AM very prochoice. But instead I am worried. We are not talking about bendryal people......... this stuff has more complications then weed or alchol. AND the fact is ............ the fact is I see to much of a high risk for abuse. I think that Plan B should be avilable..... don't get me wrong about that. Just not at the local Walgreens next to the snuffle meds and the preg. test. Why? Because I can see parents who give their kids plan B without the kid ever knowing...... I can see boyfriends and husbands doing it too. I can see this drug being taken in huge amounts by kids that think if one is good 5 will do better. And I am worried about that. I don't think having it over 18 is any help...... jeesh we can't get the counter people to care about carding for alchol and smokes. AND when you are younger then what you are carding for I can see why that would make you uncomfortable....... expecially for a job that is at such a high risk of robbery and pays so low. I wouldn't care...... if I was stuck like that year after year after year. And I can't help but think this is the wrong way for us to go. While I belive the option to end a preg. should always be avilable I also believe that we have to stop thinking that becoming preg. is such a horrible awful thing. That this teaching our kids that it is something to fear, something to dread inside, something that will keep you from ever reaching your dreams or doing the things you want to do........ is just wrong. So in this way I belive it is not the best choice for us to remove the doctor from the equation.

There IS one other reason I think this is a bad move. I think that it puts everyone that is in that store at risk from religous fanticals. That we are endangering people for some "win" . Why we can't just keep this in the pharmcy where there is usually securty anyways I don't know. I don't understand. I see how it might help a few girls who are to scared and to shy to get their butt to a doctor....... but at what price? I just don't know.