Tuesday, May 16, 2006

9 years each one better then the last

May 17th is my wedding anniversary. The one biggest things I did in my life that I have never regretted for even an instant. My spouse is loving, respectful, trustworthy, humorous, good person. And I am always trying to live up to being as good as he is. He makes me want to be a better human being without ever making me feel like there is something wrong with how I am right now today. In this trouble world and often turbulent times he is the one thing that I count on.

Does that mean our house is some sort of paradise of happiness? Oh please be real. We fight about money, chores, and sex just like every other couple. Usually it is me doing the fighting while J. is trying to negotiate a way out........... he hates conflict. I fight without rules, without good manners, without that thing in your head that says "don't SAY that". Often I regret it. I try to do better, and I am learning, abet slower then most people do. If it wasn't for J. Unflagging sense of humor at the face of my furry I am sure we would have never made it this far.

It is my spouse that provides the moral fortitude and sense of purpose. While I can dream a million dreams a minute, he careful shifts thru what he wants and sets his sights up on attainable goals. My morals are often of the moment rather then of some long term idea. Personal morals rather then social ideals. Which often put me head to head with the law, supervisors, and friends. Fortunately my spouse often talks me out of my impulses, this I am sure leads to less jail time and fines and probably keeps my jobs going longer too.

If my years with my spouse are mutilplied by 10 it would still not be enough time. I know the last 3 years I have scared him a few times by almost dyeing and the repeated operations. But I hang on out of desire to spend more time with with him. I hope all people are fortunate enough to meet someone like my hubby and it saddens me when I hear of marriages made of less then what I have. It also bothers me greatly that people who love each other much as me and J. do are not allowed to get married. For I don't think it would have mattered to me if J. was a woman..... it is not his shape that I am in love with tho' I find his shape pleasing to me. But it is who he is with me and who I am with him that I find my life happier and filled with much joy.

Thank you Unvierse for letting me spend time with such a good person! And thanks mom for helping me be who I am so that I could find and be with such a good wonderful person!