Monday, April 03, 2006

I am a walnut tree.......

LOL I was reading over here

and I am a walnut tree:
Walnut Tree (Passion) — unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

I would say that it use to be right....... I am not very jelouse anymore but I am by nature..... I am still slightly egotistic.... after all when you are responsible for the entire worlds misrey that IS a feat indeed. My spouse is a Cypress:
Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) — strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what Life has to give but doesn’t necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

That is mostly true as well except for the quick temper part..... I have only seen J. lose his temper a handful of times maybe less. Well ..... unless you count on the road..... but that doesn't count because when they are all out to kill you it is hard not to lose ones temper.... lol actually he isn't too bad about that just unpleasent.

I donno how many people saw me posting over at one of the momma bloggers who seemed to be having a rough go at it this weekend. I felt and still feel she is in a dangerous place and I wanted her to leave immedately. I also know that you cannot make someone leave...... they have to want to go and she doesn't yet. It was hard for me to not say more (and I said a great deal and so did many others) because it is my instinct to help. I also know that this person cannot see how bad things are just yet....... after all I never see how bad things are when the sh*t hits the fan. Perhaps it is that blindness that keeps us all able to get up the next day. This abilty to rewrite history so things "aren't so bad" and "they" just don't get it. I will never forget Chasmyn
asking me why I didn't tell someone and let them help me when I got into an abusive relationship....... and it was hard to explain but it was caught up in a lot of my feeling as if this was my mistake and that I shouldn't invole others and that basically I had help MAKE the monster so I had to be the one to deal with it. Right? No wrong but that is the story I told myself to make it all bareable. There are so many games we play to stay in the same sh*t rather then do the work to get out of it. It is hard to extract yourself from someone that you have basically meshed with inorder to survive. All I can say is that I have never, ever, heard one person that did the work to get away regret it..... that includes me. It was quiet a fasco that last day I saw him..... in the courts ...... the murderous rage as he realized that I was gone forever, for good ...... that I was to strong for any guilt trip to ever work again. He knew any more contact with me would invole the police EVERY time from that day forward.....and I never saw him again. OOO I still hear things now and then from people..... and who knows he may hear about me as well tho' I doubt it. And when I met the man that did give me the life I wanted, full of laughter, joy, love and tenderness I was so happy that I was free and had been free for a long time so I could enjoy all the falling in love and stuff with no guilt, no shame, no darkness. I will never ever let someone talk me out of helping them as I talked so many of my loved ones from doing...... I will not forget what has happened before so that each time you tell a story you can pretend it is the first time. I won't forget, and I won't walk away, but I also will not come charging in........ I will be here for anyone, anytime, with phone numbers, encouragement, strenght and love.


Blogger Granny said...

Hi. I've been where you were and your friend evidently is now. I made a promise to myself it would never happen again and it hasn't.

6:40 PM  
Blogger achromic said...

Yes I made the same promise.... I feel fortunate and blessed that I was able to keep that promise... by that time I had broken so many. :) I hope that she lives long enough to get out and that she can get out and see the other side.

7:00 PM  
Blogger Val said...

I left a comment on 1st post telling her to please please get out -- but as you say, there's no way you can FORCE someone to take control & get out of that sort of dangerous situation, she'll have to come to that conclusion herself (it hasn't been sounding like a good situation from the get-go, but I know things get skewed when you're just reading about it long-distance)...
Still, my heart bleeds for her, I emphathize w/her tremendously. I thought "I" was stuck w/an infant + dogs & cats & horses (everyone telling her to just dump the horses obviously don't own any themselves, they are ALL like extra children!), but I was lucky that MRJ left on his own...

7:49 AM  
Blogger achromic said...

I was not unsympathitic to her pets OR the fact that she has a sick child that doesn't need to be in group housing. I thought perhaps if she called I could org. us bloggers to help out ...... but she isn't ready to go and I have to respect that. I ach to do something.... but there is nothing to be done without her help.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Val said...

OK, I was afraid some long drawn-out quiz was required! It's an astrology-type thing:
"Pine Tree (Peacemaker) — loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance."
Whatever, I think most of these are general enough that you can pick what you like & leave the rest...

7:41 AM  
Blogger L. said...

Achromic, your blog friends are here for you, too.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I followed you over here from the blog you're talking about (no blogger account, sorry this is going to post as anonymous). You're so wise on all counts. And yes, count me in if we are called on to organize some kind of Internet-based support and rescue operation for her & her kids.

It's not that I'm not sympathetic about the animals, either (I have dogs myself and I'd be heartbroken in that situation -- in fact I did stay far too long with my first husband b/c I couldn't bear the thought of depriving our dog of one or the other of the two people he loved most in the world), just that there are resources to deal with that too (rescue groups and sanctuaries who are sympathetic to crisis situations and can provide temporary foster homes until things settle down, etc.).


3:42 PM  
Blogger achromic said...

Thank you Veronica! Your support is very good and kind. I hope that we never need to swoop in for the rescue but I think she needs to know that we are here, and as non-judgemental as a human can try and be! My best guess is that she won't leave until another crisis presents itself and some people live for years rideing out one crisis at a time. The best thing is that like most abuse survivers she is very smart and loves her children a great deal so I will hope that can motivate her to decide for a better life...... and who knows we could be wrong and he could shape up, I am just not holding my breath for it. :)

7:16 PM  
Blogger Granny said...

Hi. I just left a comment in response to your latest comment on isamericaburning. Bottom line - you're not stupid. The mainstream media is largely feeble (including t.v.) and it sometimes takes a little digging to come up with truth.

That's what WA and I and the other political bloggers try to do.

12:20 AM  
Blogger Granny said...

No comment this time - just saying hello on this Sunday afternoon.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Granny said...

We're Methodist, one of the more liberal denominations, hence the Seder and the Rabbi. The Jewish congregation uses one of our church rooms for their Sabbath meeting.

JCS was banned in many cities when it came out. For the 70's, it was a shocker. It follows the last week in the life of Jesus (as written in Mark) accurately enough but set to rock music. Young people loved it as did I.

Even now that it's a little dated, it's still worth seeing.

12:45 PM  
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12:47 PM  

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