ok ok ok srry I thought when no one said anything that

no one cared anymore. But ummmmmmm well now I am feeling loved and a bit stupid. I will stay Achromic will stay will write everyone and say that to you each and every one. I never met to have a big blog and I am fine with it being small............. but it hurts a lot to pour out your whole misspelled heart and hear silence................... ummmmmm except there wasn't really because Val ALWAYS wrote but I was depressed and I forgot and Gawdessness WOULD always write only her computer is down and I forgot because I was depressed. The depression and panic are kicking my ass folks............ no really. I spent yesterday in tears......... no not just like a few minutes here and there ......... I spent almost the ENTIRE day crying hysterically over............. ummmmmmmm a misunderstanding and thinking you guys where gone and thinking that ......... see the paranoia is also kicking in someone here that KNOWS ME might have decided they hated me enough to give out my info to someone who scares the crap out of me. The misunderstanding was foolish and so was the paranoia and *blushes furiously* I can see that you are all here......... Forgive me all of you. They are trying to stop the pain with inaquit medication because I am so allergic to everything else. The pain is real...... you can't come over and poke on me.......... I keep trying to make it NOT real and that is part of my problem it is a huge part of my problem ...... is that I keep trying very hard to change that I am in pain.