Welcome to the New Year!
I have just arrived home from a trip back to St. Louis. Well actually......... no ........ actually we got into the airport and head South..... er I think......... To the town where my family came to when they got to the USA. Where my Grandmother when she was in her right mind swore to me that she wanted to go to be this nursing home. Thousands of miles away from her kids, and her grandchild. But she begged me not to fight then...... so I cannot and have not fought since to move her closer to us. She no longer knows who I am or who anyone is........ her brain is shrinking.... I do not know why. But the rate at which it is shrinking and her overall decline leave the doctors to think she will not last much longer. Lets hope that is the only passing that I must see in 2006.
One of the most suprising things that I found in STL, was the stark racism and fear ........ not from the white people who many are racist and many are not but from the young black communty. Still afraid that friendliness of a stranger may bring bad tidings to their door steps, better to look away and pretend you did not hear what was being said. I just wanted to make it stop.......... this strange us-them thing that posiens the air that we BOTH breath. I never have understood the rules and now I am to old to give a darn about them.... I love who I love I find friendship where I can, it saddens me when I see others allowing themselves to be boxed in.
3 days and I will go in for my evaluation. I will find out more about why I hurt like I do. AND because I foolishly did not double check if my meds were packed I missed the Gabpinten and no one would help me fill it on Xmas day............... so by the next day I was screaming in agony........ so ummm yes I would guess that it IS helping me some if not getting rid of the pain completly. Hopefully that alone will give the doctors some clues about what is going on with me. So for hope that is what I have ............ less pain...... less sickness......... less hospital stays.
One of the most suprising things that I found in STL, was the stark racism and fear ........ not from the white people who many are racist and many are not but from the young black communty. Still afraid that friendliness of a stranger may bring bad tidings to their door steps, better to look away and pretend you did not hear what was being said. I just wanted to make it stop.......... this strange us-them thing that posiens the air that we BOTH breath. I never have understood the rules and now I am to old to give a darn about them.... I love who I love I find friendship where I can, it saddens me when I see others allowing themselves to be boxed in.
3 days and I will go in for my evaluation. I will find out more about why I hurt like I do. AND because I foolishly did not double check if my meds were packed I missed the Gabpinten and no one would help me fill it on Xmas day............... so by the next day I was screaming in agony........ so ummm yes I would guess that it IS helping me some if not getting rid of the pain completly. Hopefully that alone will give the doctors some clues about what is going on with me. So for hope that is what I have ............ less pain...... less sickness......... less hospital stays.
posted by achromic at 9:46 PM
4 Comments:
Happy New Year Achromic! It is weird when one thinks that racism is white to black...and finds out that it extends black to white. Or brown to yellow, or green to pink! Basically, it is ignorance and fear...fear and a lot of it.
Praying that the doctors are able to identify the source of your pain and that they will be able to assist you.
Many blessings to you this year...
Thank you for your lovely comment about my daughter's pet bird dying.
It brought her a lot of comfort. Something we really needed yesterday.
I had talked to her about the exact same thing! I really believe that I will meet my animals again.
I am so sorry to hear of your pain and will echo lee anne on her wish that the doctors are able to help with pain, soon.
That is my wish for you for the new year!
Smooches!
May the new year bring you health and peace.
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