Trying not to fall
I just got back from the Dr. and I am out until Feb. I ........ I guess I'm not suppose to be working. I am trying very very hard not to be sad...... not to be scared. They say that my nerves have just been cut too many times and the pain is because they have learned the signal... along with a bunch of gobble gunk that I didn't quite understand. They are trying new meds...... and I get a new eval. and into an all day program which I don't have any way to get to just yet (gonna figure that out with buses and stuff but I haven't done it just yet). I am feeling very raw and sad. Flustered about money and having to talk to my boss...... which who knows how long that is gonna last...... and just feeling in genreal like I'm living the wrong life. Still I know this is only a temporay feeling.... I am to happy of a person to stay here very long. Expecially when my wonderful spouse has brought a 160LSAT score home and is still a straight A student!!!!!!!!! And does wonderful things like make me breakfast and still does the dishes....... and the cat boxes..... he is good stuff so I can't stay sad for very long. I just am right now.
posted by achromic at 12:22 PM
4 Comments:
I'm sad/mad too, but also relieved. At least they are taking you seriously, and not going to send you back in your current state. AND you can visit grandma at xmas with L.
Now, about that electric scooter to run errands and get to appointments.......
Hugs, my sistah. I love you. I second what your mom said.
Your Mom is so right.
Being sad can be a trap but it is okay and reasonable to feel that way sometimes - just try not to let it take up residence!
Thanks for writing and keeping us in the game.
{{{Achro}}} I think when we find out we will be living with chronic pain, we go through the stages of grief over losing who we were - denial, anger, and sadness. I am glad to hear you are looking forward to being your happy self again some day, because that's a good sign you won't let it get you down for long. You have such courage!
Hang in there!
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