yea so the surgery is on

well, I'm going in on the 10th of Oct. She almost laughed when I said "umm that laprosocpic option?" she stuffed down her giggling enough to explain that " no we gots to cut you all the way and remove all those old staples and do it right this time" (ok I'm eggsartation a bit she was actually very very nice.) She also said very sadly ... that this may not take away the pain.... and if I understood right.. that I may be so damaged that ... well she would have to see about the other stuff like work... and going back. I knew that... I did... I was able to not cry right there. It is one thing tho' to be making a self diagnoses and another to have a doctor say it. Deep breath here... to tell the truth I didn't want to write this right now at all but my mom said you all would want to know and she is right I know that. To be going under again... and to not know if it will help at all.... and to not know if anything ever will. To give up the idea of running and playing... ok, well, there are people that need my help, who I can help, especially now that I've been given the time. I will not stay locked in this house... I won't be stopped.