Sunday, September 25, 2005

I'm so not ok

Why is it that Kasier has to wait until the pain meds don't work before they even see me? No don't answer that I know why. Because they are an HMO and that is the way they work. I hurt... all day... I hurt.... the pain meds are barely working at all. I don't want to go to the ER. I really don't. DAMNIT.... J.'s LSAT's are in a week why can't this just hold off until he is thru' with them??? WHY does it have to go into a crisis right this week???!!!! I am soooo sooo sooo MAD!!! He has been working his butt off, if I could just hold out just a little bit longer..... but it hurts so bad.... like something eating me alive... and and and the visions are coming in... with the drugs...visions of........doesn't matter... just drug hazed dreams... but they feel so real. Opium dreams...... Gakk I'm so sick. The kidney's, the herina, it all just hurt's inside and the tiredness of it all... more then what sleep can cure.

Sorry for all the complaining...


Blogger Gawdessness said...

Complaining she says!
If it helps, even a little bit, have at her!
Thinking of you a lot yesterday and today. Hoping and hoping it gets better soon. Hoping and hoping that you feel better soon. Really, really soon.

9:06 PM  
Anonymous cluttergirl said...

I am so sorry that it is not going well. That sounds so awfully shitty, to put it succinctly. I hope you get the care you need and soon. Hoping as well that you feel better very very soon.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Milenka said...

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry that you're still dealing with this shit. *hugs*

1:11 AM  
Blogger Lionmom said...

I'm sorry it's so bad. And that on top of the pain you feel like it is impacting those you love. I have had a few bouts of fibromyalgia where all I could do was curl up in a ball and keen in pain - I can't imagine functioning each day when that is how you are.

You're amazingly strong - hang in there!

4:45 AM  
Anonymous Lee Anne said...

keep on fighting Achro -- I am praying for you... Blessings -

12:25 PM  
Anonymous chasmyn said...


This just bites.

12:49 PM  

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