Saturday, August 27, 2005

you may not have noticed, but I got some great commenters here

Seriously I do. If I could figure out how to work my blog right (yes shylah tried to teach me and someday I will have the time and energy to learn) I would put up that link to all the great people that I'm beginning to get to know.

Today kinda blows big chunks. A person that I know died. He was sick with cancer and we all knew he was losing. He was a great man. More then that I don't want to say for fear of being Dooc'd one day. (Saying to much about where you work so work fires your butt as they did to Dooce whom you can google and read her blog about how she got fired and why her name is now synonymous with being fired for having a blog).

Another reason today blows is they upped my dosage of Prozac 3 days ago and I thought that the side effects of helicopters and stuff would wear off but I'm still nausea and still feeling very not so good. The lady that I'm working with on this wants me to go to psych. Which I donna have problem with (well..... sorta don't have a problem with) but when they call me they start saying a bunch of stuff about mood swings and depression that NO ONE has ever talked to me about having before. I'm pissed...... I feel lied too, I feel like they are playing games. The med's I'm taking are making me question my own sanity because darnit no matter how close I live to the airport of a major city their should not me helicopters inside my head all day. I seriously thinking of ditching the psych meds. and ditching this lady and going to my primary and demanding the referral to Stanford.......... I feel very done but I can't tell if I'm thinking rationally or not. I wish very very hard that I had some real people that I really trusted giving me some medical advice right now.

I'm so tired. I'm so so so freakin' tired. I'm procrastinating the hell out of things right now. Stuff at work stuff at home. Nothing that isn't a priority is getting done. If it's not an emergency it isn't happening. What is wrong with that? it has been like that for almost 2 yrs. TWO YEARS! It has been very bad the last 8 months and the problem is I see no end in sight. I need hope.....


Blogger Gawdessness said...

Special Delivery.
Handle with care.
Contents Fragile.

(Rustling of paper - Golden light - oooooooh)


Use as much as you need. There is always more where that came from.
May need to borrow back a cup every now and then.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Gawdessness said...

Me again.
This time I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate and enjoy your comments at my blog.
Thanks for taking the time to do that.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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4:29 PM  

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