Sunday, March 06, 2005

Last night I conquered the Glucose monitor

Ok as if there couldn't be enough wrong there are these dizzy spell. There are two types. 1 is the when I stand up I black out, can't breath and pretty much almost pass out but only for a few seconds. While this first one is the most violent, it is also the most predictable and we are pretty sure that it is because of super low blood pressure. The second type is a slower sickness and it is more like "wow nothing feels ok". When I first went to the doctor with this she did run the fasting blood but it came out ok, but then I went to my mom and during one of these episodes I had her take my blood and yep sure enough it was all the way down to 60 and I had just ate less then 2 hrs ago. So when I had to go back to my doctor because of the pee thing I told her about that and she said "hummmm that's not right". And gave me a glucose monitor and has me set up with another doctor. For two weeks it has sat here. Oh I took it out and fooled with it then threw up my hands and said "I can't figure it out" ummm I didn't read the directions or anything like that but I still "couldn't" make it work. LOL. See I was really really mad that after "all" that I've done that I would have to stick my finger and test myself every day... more then once a day too. I mean why else did I have the WLS? I mean how fucked up is it to get all the things they said you would avoid? Damnit I went thru' a lot of pain for what? But then a friend of mine said something that just blew me the fuck away, she said (er this is just paraphrasing here) "you might have gotten sick anyways, it might just be part of your path, and you might have gotten a lot sicker a lot faster you never know". Oh....... right, I don't have control over this, any control is just an illusion, one that the doctors like to try and sell you but it isn't the truth. The best thing I can do is manages the truth to the best of my abiltity, I can't change it. I have always believed that some things are met to be, that they bring you to certain things in your life, and while I can't see why being severely hypoglycemic would be a positive the truth is it is here in my face. So last night I picked up the instructions, I stuck myself a bunch of times while I figured out how to make it all work. It wasn't so bad and hopefully what they learn will also help with my kidneys.


Anonymous Elaina said...

I am actually trying to contact you as a friend of Chasmyn's. Sharon and I are trying to pull off a big surprise and are trying to enlist as many people as we can who know her. For more info you can either email Sharon or reach me at
BTW, I developed gestational diabetes with my pregnancy. It was aweful, the feeling of being helpless and nothing going the way it was supposed to...but you start to adapt and realize it really could be worse. It turned into diabetes for me but I am managed as well as I can be for now. But I have to remember, at least I have taken some control just by noticing the problem and seeking to treat it! Hang in there! And thanks for letting me use your space!

10:25 PM  
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