Monday, October 11, 2004

What I've learned along the way

It's always nice to remember some of the lessons you've learned. They are so easliy forgotten and then you have to relearn them, and I hate that because life lessons hurt like hell. As I've become this new person I still want to carry at least some of my old lessons with me, although I could live without some of the side effects.

1. Dieing hurts. I don't want to die. I use to want to all the time. I hurt so much in life that I didn't want to be here anymore. I've attempted sucide in very serious ways. I've come to the conclusion that the pain of actually dieing hurts far to much. Not breathing is painful in every single cell of your body. It was probably this relization that spured me to get out of some of the very painful things that made me want to die. I feel very fortunate to have been given the gift of being able to get out at all, over the past 9 yrs I've lost 3 friends to sucide/drug overdose. I miss them all very much.

2. Love doesn't hurt. People who love you do not play games , lie, hit, yell, or do other pyschotic things. You might call it lust, passion, maschotsim, but it's not love. Love makes living good no matter how bad it is. I know, my husband and I have been homeless, jobless, scared to death, but love made it seem easier in comparson to the hell I lived thru' with others. No matter how bad our problems are, and sometimes they are pretty bad, we trust each other, we don't hurt each other, and we treat each other with respect. Love doesn't mean loveing someone no matter what, it means never being asked to love someone no matter what.

3. I'm often more wrong then right. Yea............ I'm still having to get that one on a daliy baises but I always have my friends on the internet more the willing to argue a diffrent view point. I've learned that I have to back up my points, do my reasearch, and watch my assumptions. There are things that I've always assumed was the truth as told to me in school, church, grandparents, friends, but thanks to the internet I've been learning how wrong I am.

4. Age has nothing to do with friendship. Good people are good people. I've met kids as young as 9 who were better at being friends then those my own age. (not that I make a habit of hanging out with 9yr olds). I've found people in their late 50's who have more of a life then I do and don't mind hanging out with younger folks.

Well that's all the lessons I can think of today. That should be good to focus on for the night. Peace.


Blogger chasmyn said...

Good lessons to know.

12:11 PM  

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